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Confession Frees

Weekly Devotionals

Confession Frees

I’m one of the greatest of sinners when I drive.  I’ve taken to the Korean way of the roads…driving along the side lanes in order to cut in further ahead.  The other day, I got pulled over by a cop on the highway for entering into a merging (right-side) lane from the middle lane.  My kids were with me.  I was hoping to get off the hook by pulling my “ignorant-foreigner-who-doesn’t-speak-English” card…in other words…lying.  But as I was speaking “ignorant” English to the Korean police officer, my kids were translating to me, OUT LOUD, what he was saying.  My attempt to evade the law was futile.  My kids are righteous; I am not.  For a split second, I was angry with them.  Why couldn’t they just keep quiet?…and help me lie?!

As I drove off, I was angry.  My heart-rate was up.  Cortisol stress was on the rise.  I became very irritable the rest of the drive.  As we walked into E-mart to buy a needle to pump up a basketball (earlier in the morning the kids asked if we could play basketball after school), I was very curt and a little mean to Zachary.  I could feel the tension of Cain in me:  “The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry?  Why is your face downcast?  If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?  But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to overtake you, but you must rule over it’” (Genesis 4:6-7).  I couldn’t shake my anger and my pride.  “What a stupid law!”  “I’m not a bad driver!”  “I don’t deserve this!”  “This isn’t a driving law in America!”  “I’m right and they are wrong!”  “I am justified in my own behavior!”  Quite literally, I could feel the heaviness of my hubris on my brow.

At the basketball court, I knew I couldn’t go on like this.  I brought Sydney and Zachary in, to a huddle.  And I confessed.  I confessed that I was lying to the policeman, that I wanted them to lie with me.  I confessed that I sinned.  And after I was done confessing, immediately the heaviness lifted.  I could smile again.  I could enjoy playing basketball on this beautiful, fall afternoon.  Freedom.

There is a freedom that comes with confession.  As hard as confession is…living in sin is harder.  It’s oppressive.  I had to humble myself before God and before my kids.  Pride was overtaking me, and I couldn’t rule over it; I couldn’t get on top of it.  The only way was to get under it…meaning, go down.  Get low.  Humble myself.  1 Peter 5:5b-6 says, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.”  Without humility, there is no true confession.  Without confession, there is no true freedom.  Without freedom, we will never live as God intended.  Confess and be free.